Love you- Mr.Murphy

Love Mr.Murphy so much...every time I am ready to plunge, Murphy comes in and leaves me with just with a sad smile and a simple statement..."Not again Murphy.Please...not again." but then the law is as universaland as real as Newton's 1st law or even more prominent.

I love you so much Murphy.

• If anything can go wrong, it will,It can,at the most inopportune time it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it.
• When your workmates absolutely guarantee they'll take care of your duties while you're on vacation, they won't.Corollary: the week you're gone, will be the "week from hell" you now have to catch up on.
•  The more work you are promised, the harder it is to find.
• Some one always gets the good jobs first.
• Your unemployment check always comes after you find work.
• The ideal job for you was filled right before you found out about it.
• If your manager has nothing bad to tell you for too long you will soon need their reference.
• Your current boss is the worst you've ever had until the next one.
• Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong
• If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

• If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.Corollary: It will be impossible to fix the fifth fault, without breaking the fix on one or more of the others
• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
• Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
• Corollary: The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.
• Things get worse under pressure.
• Everything goes wrong all at once.
• Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
• In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.
• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
• Nothing is as easy as it looks.
• Everything takes longer than you think.
• Everything takes longer than it takes.
• Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
• Every solution breeds new problems.
• No matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up.

    

• A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.
• You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
• You will always find something in the last place you look.
• If your looking for more than one thing, you'll find the most important one last.
• After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.
• The other line always moves faster.
• In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is
• All things mechanical/electrical will catastrophically fail after the guarantee has expired, unless an extended guarantee has been purchased.
• The more important your email is, the worse your email client will screw it up.
• The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely proportional to the chances that they will be on-line.
• All impossible failures, will happen at the test site.Corollary: All impossible failures will happen on the clients desktop
• The proposed size of any project is inversely proportional to the size the project will eventually become.
• When you finally update to a new technology, is when everyone stop supporting it.
• Any wire cut to length will be too short.
• No matter how clever and complete your research is, there is always someone who knows more.
• The boss is always right.Corollary: If the boss is wrong, refer back to the rule.
• It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make it simple.

       

• The 2nd worst thing you can hear the tech say is "Oops!" The worst thing you can hear the tech say is "oh s**t!"
• The most ominous phrase in science: "_Uh_-oh . . ."
• Don't fix something that ain't broke, 'cause you'll break it and you still can't fix it.
• It is never wise to let a piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.
• The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches
• There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
• A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail.
• The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
• After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done
• A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
• The first myth of management is that it exists.
• Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
• Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
• If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
• Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
• Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.
• Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

• Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.
• The documented interfaces between standard software modules will have undocumented quirks.
• A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
• No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.
• No matter how good of a deal you get on computer components, the price will always drop immediately after the purchase.
• Software bugs are impossible to detect by anybody except the end user.
• The maintenance engineer will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
• No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you access the Internet.
• The hard drive on your computer will only crash when it contains vital information that has not been backed up.
• Each computer code has five bugs, and tis number does not depend on how many bugs have been already found (it is conservative).
• An expert is someone brought in at the last minute to share the blame.
• for any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version appears.
• Whenever you need a crucial file from the server, the network will be down.
• E-mailed tasking will always come just before you log off.
• A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
• The probability of forgetting your password is directly proportional to the frequency of changing it.
• The longer it takes to download a program the more likely it won't run.
• If you forget to save you're work every 5 minutes, it will break down after you've been at it for an hour.
• It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
• The only thing worse than an end-user without a clue is an end-user who has a clue - usually the wrong one.

• According to most Tech Support people, the most common user error message (regardless of Operating System) is ID 10T.End-users' Corollary 1: most application failures occur between the hours of 2 and 4 am on a Sunday night - with a 6 am Monday deadline for the project.End-users' Corollary 2: On the graveyard shift, there's no Tech Support to hear you scream!
• Bugs mysteriously appear when you say, "Watch this!"corollary: If you call another programmer over to see if he knows what's wrong the bug disappears.
• The probability of bugs appearing is directly proportional to the number and importance of people watching.
• The only program that runs perfectly every time, is a virus.
• The worst bugs in your program will show up only during the final review.
• If it works, it's production. If it doesn't, it's a test.
• Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
• Computers let you waste time efficiently

• You will always discover errors in your work after you have printed/submitted it.
• After a software is released, the first bug found will be by a person who normally does not use that portion of the program but was wondering why he can't do something he normally would not do.
• The troubleshooting guide contains the answer to every problem except yours.
• Good enough - isn't, unless there is a deadline.
• If its raining, or cold or both the bus will be late
• If you're early the bus is late If you're late the bus was early
• If you have no change then the bus driver won't have any either
• Waiting for a bus seems to be longer than the journey.
• If two or more bus routes go to one stop; at least one of each of the others will arrive before the one you want.
• The bus you plan to take always leaves five minutes before you reach the bus stop. The bus you do take is always ten minutes late.
• The hotter it is outside, bigger the chance there's no air conditioning.
• Irrespective time and route, the city buses are always crowded.Corollary: Buses travelling in exactly opposite direction go empty.

• The last person on the bus always wants the last stop.
• If you wait for a bus for a long time, and decide to leave the station, the bus will arrive just as you're too far away to catch it.
• The telephones won't work when you need to call long distance urgently.
• When you don't have much work... all your colleagues will be busy.
• Your Security will insist on you leaving by 7:00 on the very day when you have to stay till 10:00 to meet an important deadline.
• Of all the vehicles in the parking, yours would be most difficult to take out when it is an emergency.
• The better your presentation, least the impact.
• The coffee machine will be empty, when you need coffee most.
• The first 90% of a project requires 90% of the allotted time. The remaining 10% takes another 90% of the allotted time.
• The later you let a child stay up at night, the earlier he will wake up in the morning.
• Your child will always wait until you are fully dressed for work before spilling their food on you.
• The availability of daycare is directly proportionate to how badly you need it.
• When you are in a hurry the child will dawdle.

• The amount of sound from the other room is inversely proportional to the amount of trouble the child is getting into.
• As soon as the child is in the car and the car has left the driveway the child will have to use the bathroom.
• The more preparation time for the meal the less likely a child is to eat it.
• When you need to carry a child they will want to walk.When you want them to walk they will want to be carried.When you bring the stroller they will want to walk.
• When you forget the stroller they will want to ride.
• Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't..
• Any time you are unable to solve a problem, ask your mother. She probably won't know either, but she will fake it.
• The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten.
• The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you
• If you forget, mom will remind you of all your mistakes so you don't repeat them.
• Anything you do can be criticized by your mother - even doing nothing.
• Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.
• All mother's have a "How To" manual. That's because they wrote the book.

• Mother's way is best. If you don't believe it, ask her.
• The more expensive the gift you give your mother, the longer she will "save" it before she uses it.
• No matter how much you eat, you can never get so fat that mother will not offer you more food.
• Accomplishments are made possible by your mother - failures are your own fault
• The longer it's been since you cleaned house, the more likely it is that mother will visit.
• Never tell your mother you have nothing to do. She can always find something.
• There are always two sides to a story - the way it really happened and the way mother remembers it.

References:
http://www.murphys-laws.com